So it's Sunday night and tomorrow is the first big weigh in. I have so many things going through my head. I wonder how much weight I have lost. A little? More than I think? Any at all? And I am looking forward to working out again. Wait a second...did I say that? But yes. I am. Although this week has been difficult, I have felt a sense of accomplishment that I am actually doing it. I already feel as though I have a bit more energy and it's great. All that being said...........it's also a time of reflection to see where I could improve.
Today was my day off and my church had a big picnic/hang out/football day at the park. It was a GORGEOUS Florida day and we were out there for hours. Tom was there too. So, before he left I had he come over to where I was and talkto me for a sec. I let him know that I did not get my night time cardio in yesterday and that's when he laid into me. He said it was because I wasn't really serious about it all. I was in shock. (now ladies ...don't revolt against Tom....keep reading) He told me that I put off Saturday and I didn't get up to do Friday's morning cardio and that's because I wasn't being serious. He told me I had a commitment to that cardio on Saturday and I failed to meet that commitment. I sat there and thought. So many things ran through my head. I got so frustrated inside and felt immediately defiant and defensive and angry. So I said, well I shouldn't have gone out Friday and he quickly said...no you shouldn't have. It affected my whole day on Saturday and I was unable to keep my commitment. I tried to put in there that I walked extra on Friday morning after he left to make up for the cardio....and he wasn't hearing it. And so I got quiet and just listened. He told me that every day this is a battle. When I wake up ...a battle. When I walk on the treadmill...a battle. He squatted down and looked me straight in the eye and he said, "What you do when I am not around is what matters most." And as I slowly let my pride quit it's temper tantrum in my mind..... I realized he was so right.
I cannot tell you how thankful I am that the Lord has placed Tom in my path as the one to train me. Because he is not only taking the time to train my physical body, but he cares about the success of what I am doing at a much deeper level. Was it hard to swallow at first? Oh yeah! But I talked about it with my mom and I was like mom...he's right. I mean the night before the Super Bowl, those players are in bed ready for the game. They have the game in mind. He said that overall this week he gave me a 60%. Again hard to hear. I talked to my friends about it when he left and asked for some advice ...encouragement.... and although we had some laughs about grading and stuff....overall, they all agreed that it was best he told me that, because that means he sees so much more in me.
So now I have a goal. Not only to lose this weight, but to truly keep the commitments I make TO MYSELF!!!! And.... next week, hopefully I will get a 70% or better. :)
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5 comments:
You are so lucky to have a trainer that is committed to you and cares about you succeeding. It is a learning experience starting a weight loss journey and does require sacrifices and committments. I commend you for your perserverance and determination. Keep it up.
There's a commerical on TV that caught my ear. I forget what product it's for but it says something like "It's not the destination of the journey, but what we learn along the way." Again, it's not word for word, but is so true. We're constantly learning.
Have a great week and weigh-in. You'll do great! Never give up!
Diana
Sarah P.,
I love you and I'm so proud of you. I'm so thankful that the Lord had put Tom in your life to be there for you and to help you stay accoutable. Tom, if you read this, I want you to know that as I pray for Sarah each day, I am also praying for you - for the Holy Spirit to guide and lead you as you lead and guide Sarah. Thank you for the awesome brother in the Lord that you are for her.
Sarah, be encouraged no matter what your weigh in is today. I have learned over and over again the last couple of years that I don't have to change all at once; each small change is a victory and improvement and when we focus on our successes, no matter how small, we are encouraged to continue succeeding instead of being discouraged by our failures. Per your 60% grade from Tom, don't focus on your 40% of failure. You succeeded 60%! And that's a lot better than you have done in the past. This week if you hit 70%, that's an improvement and therefore a success. Shoot for 100%, but be joyful and hopeful as long as you are improving even just a little. Small changes little by little are much easier to maintain than huge changes all at once.
I love you!
-Rachelle
WOW....this entry really hit home for me. We have a commitment to ourselves every single day. EVERY SINGLE DAY. DAMN. That's alot of days and alot of commitment!!! SO...Sunday is your day off. So...every other day BESIDES Sunday, you have to do your workout...NO EXCUSES? No matter how many extra minutes you work on Friday, no matter how busy you are, no matter how much you have going on that day....you have to do it....EVERY FREAKING DAY NO MATTER WHAT is thrown in your path that day. DAMN.
I really need this to sink in today. This is my biggest problem. The commitment. The EVERY FREAKING DAY commitment. I do well, I work hard for a few days, a few weeks....and then life gets in the way. I have to figure out how to fit this in EVERY FREAKING DAY (except Sundays.)
Thank you Sarah...and thank you Tom!
((hugs))
Jeanne
Ok. GO TOM. Sarah Sarah, dear Sarah. What he said was so true. I think I may have mentioned something about that a few weeks ago. I dunno. Maybe in an email or something. Different topic, same problem. Commitment problems? I dunno. CUZ YOU NEVER RESPONDED. :-) Interesting.
But anyways...my love,
It's so clear that the Lord has a pretty tight grip on your sanctification right now and I'm glad a big toughy like Tom is being used as a tool from God for this process. Because let's get real here: This ain't about 30 days to change (losing weight) this is about 30 days to change (getting your spiritual BUTT kicked by the Lord as you are tried and tested to become more like him.)
Whatever happens today, as you are weighing yourself and making a judgement on whether or not last week was worth it, consider the big picture: How you did or did not grow closer to God this past week, how you were or were not convicted about sin in your life and how you did or did not respond correctly to that sin. DID you grow closer to the Lord in your personal relationship with him? (which by the way is 1,000,000,000,000% more important that any sort of physical betterment) DID the Holy Spirit convict you about sin in your life that needs rooting out and DID you act on that conviction? If so, then that's a successful week. That's "worth it".
1 Corinthians 9:25-25
Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one gets the prize? Run in such a way as to get the prize. Everyone who competes in the games goes into strict training. They do it to get a crown that will not last; but we do it to get a crown that will last forever.
Sarah, what crown are you trying to get?
Sarah,
I agree with what your SIL and Brie said. They are right on the money. This journey is more about your soul right now than your body. THAT will come. Getting the right mindset, the right "heart set" needs to come first, THEN the pounds will just fall off as a result of that healthy mind, heart and soul. This journey of yours is just beginning, and I am thrilled to be witness to incredible changes already taking place in you!
Love you dearly!
Jen
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